Practicing Eye Contact with Television Characters Can Stimulate Social Engagement In Autism

For many children on the autism spectrum, social interactions can trigger intense feelings of discomfort or overwhelm, often due to the sensitivity of their autonomic nervous system. Eye contact, a cornerstone of typical social engagement, can be particularly challenging, perceived as intrusive, or even threatening. For this reason, many children never have an opportunity to comfortably look at the eyes of others. Yet, we can easily create this opportunity by encouraging children to watch people's eyes on television in a mindful and purposeful way. This simple yet powerful exercise integrates facial recognition, body awareness, deep breathing, and non-threatening exposure to eye gaze, fostering greater social comfort.

The exercise begins by selecting a wholesome, appealing show. Cartoons, G-rated movies, black-and-white sitcoms, and shows the child already enjoys can be great. Before starting the show, the adult, a parent, caregiver, or teacher, guides the child into a comfortable seated position, ensuring their body feels secure and relaxed. As the show progresses, the adult gently guides the child's attention toward the eyes of characters on screen. They might ask softly, "Can you see where his eyes are looking? Are they happy or sad eyes? Can you tell what they are thinking?" This quiet prompting is not intended to pressure but rather invite gentle curiosity and exploration of facial expressions. Pausing occasionally to discuss the characters' feelings, the caregiver can reinforce connections between visual cues, emotional recognition, and self-regulation. For example, "Her eyes look calm," or, "He looks surprised; notice how his eyes widen." This purposeful yet non-intrusive interaction encourages children to experience looking at eyes as informative and safe rather than overwhelming.

Next, you might ask the child to maintain eye contact with different characters as the show continues. You could even explain to them that this is an empowering exercise that you do yourself. You can also ask them questions about how it feels to look directly into the characters' eyes on screen. Have them differentiate between looking at bodies, looking at faces, and looking directly at eyes and pupils. You can ask about the character's eyebrows. Emphasize that this isn't a test, it's a game of noticing.

Next, we can encourage the child to focus gently on their breathing. You may guide them to place a hand on their belly to notice its rhythmic movement. Slow, prolonged diaphragmatic breathing, in through the nose and out through the mouth, helps stimulate the vagus nerve, shifting the nervous system away from states of sympathetic defense toward calm parasympathetic regulation. To accomplish this, you can encourage them to breathe longer breaths through their nose. The adult might count aloud with the child: "Inhale, one, two, three, four. Exhale one, two, three, four, five." This anchors the child's attention in their body, activating the parasympathetic nervous system and reinforcing a state of calm.

Another way to kick-start diaphragmatic breathing is to ask them to blow on the tip of their finger for as long as they can. This forces the respiratory diaphragm through a full-range contraction. By deliberately pairing diaphragmatic breathing with gentle gaze practice, the child's nervous system learns that faces and eyes can signal safety rather than threat. The next step is to ask the child to talk about their feelings and their interoceptive senses (the feelings in their head, throat, and stomach) as they gaze at eyes. After ten to twenty minutes, you can praise and end the exercise gently.

This method represents a form of gentle exposure therapy. Regular, structured viewing activates the brain's social engagement system. Gradually, prolonged exposure to these safe visual interactions rewires the autonomic responses that previously classified eye contact as stressful. Over time, this retrains vagal tone, enhancing the child's physiological capacity to stay calm during genuine social encounters. As children build tolerance to gazing at eyes in this non-threatening manner, spontaneous social interactions may become more comfortable and less likely to provoke sensory overload.

Importantly, this exercise does not force masking or impose rigid behavioral expectations. Unlike clinical models that sometimes rely on direct social confrontation, this practice keeps the stakes low because the screen provides a controlled and non-reactive stimulus. The exercise provides the child with the skills and tools to self-regulate their internal state during simulated interactions. What begins as passive screen time may become a powerful therapeutic experience, fostering long-term emotional resilience, improved vagal tone, and a greater willingness to engage comfortably and naturally.

Reser, J. 2022. Program Peace: Self-Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body. Program Peace Publishing.

This protocol has not been formally tested, peer-reviewed, or evaluated in clinical trials. While it should be viewed as experimental, its potential benefits may be intuitively understandable based on current scientific principles. Anyone considering its use should do so with caution and consider consulting with a qualified medical professional. Honestly though, this is something I do myself because I think it can help with my social engagement. At first I avoided eye contact with characters on screen, and now I do it without thinking. So it is not just for kids, and not just for people on the spectrum.