Squirting is Real, All Women are Capable, and It Can Improve Your Sex Life
It Is Not a Myth
Female squirting during sex is a fascinating topic. If you read the current academic literature on the subject, scientists are not sure what is going on, and there are conflicting reports about who can do it, how it can be done, and what it is. Squirting is cutting edge science that can be done from home, a great way to help your partner relax, a huge tension reliever, and a fantastic modern mystery that you can explore with your partner.
I heard a female sex therapist with a PhD on the radio yesterday telling the radio audience that squirting is a myth, and is really just urination. Many sexologists, and academics maintain that the squirting phenomenon is simply urinary incontinence. Even the famous sex researchers Kinsey, Masters and Johnson, dismissed reports of the phenomenon as “erroneous.” Experiments are currently taking place in University labs all over and some report that the fluid being expelled is urine. Others report that it is a mystery solution. It is certainly NOT urine. Squirting is a genuine, unique, reproducible phenomenon, and is as real as male ejaculation.
If anyone were to urinate on your mattress it would smell very strong, even after it dried. Squirting never smells bad, and the smell disappears completely after drying. The fluid smells very distinct in odor from the smell of urine. It has the same characteristics regardless of race or ethnicity. It is warm, and salty. It is also sweet from its fructose and glucose levels. It is clear, and has no trace of the color yellow.
What is it? Where Does It Come From? And How is it Done?
Women that are capable of ejaculation are sometimes called “squirters” colloquially. However, almost all women are capable of it. In fact, most women squirt from sexual intercourse, although in very small amounts. Often people do not realize that this is a form of ejaculation and chalk it up to vaginal lubrication. Technically there is a difference between squirting and female ejaculation, for instance, female ejaculation accompanies orgasm. But some authors and scientists do not draw a distinction. I don’t draw a distinction here, and I try not to get into semantics.
Female squirting comes from a small pouch above the vagina called Skene’s gland. The liquid issues out of a pair of orifices that lie between the clitoris and the vagina. They are just below, and to the sides of the urethra. Skene’s gland is just next to the woman’s G-spot. To ejaculate, the woman’s G-spot must be stimulated in a specific way.
Intense sex from certain positions can get a woman to gush voluminously. Without first experimenting with fingers though, this is somewhat rare. Fingers can better target the G-spot and use finer motor control to stimulate it than a penis can. After practice with fingers (her own or another’s), a woman will develop the necessary muscle memory. She will then be better prepared to coach her sex partner how to move and position themselves in order to achieve the desired stimulation. But ejaculation from coitus is more difficult, necessitates proper angling, and must be more carefully tailored to the individual woman. That is why this post will explain, to both men and women, how to use the fingers to achieve female ejaculation.
The woman should urinate in the toilet first to void her bladder. She can always take a break later on to urinate again if need be. It is important for her to feel confident that her bladder is completely empty. It is hard for most women to differentiate between the urge to urinate and the urge to squirt. When most women are on the verge of expulsion, there is some concern in their mind that they are going to urinate. Fear of urinating in the bed inhibits many women from achieving ejaculation.
Women can expel anywhere from a few milliliters to multiple cups. You should be able to capture all of the fluid by placing a large towel or blanket under her bottom. Placing a plastic mattress barrier in the form of a fitted sheet over your mattress is a good long-term solution if this is going to happen frequently. You will want to trim your nails a day, or a few days before, because you won’t want them to be long, or sharp.
It won’t happen unless the woman is relaxed. There is a set of muscles in her pelvic floor that she must stop bracing for it to happen. Tension in these retentive muscles must lower. Intoxication with alcohol helps. A drink or two can greatly facilitate. I think that 2 drinks is optimal, especially when the woman is starting out. Some beginners will find it impossible to squirt unless they have had some alcoholic beverage, other will not. However, true connection, warmth, love, and emotional bonding are probably even more effective.
You must help her lose any anxious energy, any concern about the appearance of her body, and any distrust. Most women must be relaxed completely. It can help if she has already had an orgasm because her inhibitions will be turned down, and her arousal will be turned up (although in some cases previous orgasm will make stimulation of the G-spot too intense). If you are a guy, you want to do everything you can to make her feel comfortable and like she is in safe hands. Turn the lights low, turn on some soft music, and prepare to invest several minutes in the act. Do not hurry the situation. It is a slow and gradual processes. The first time you try it, expect to spend at least 45 minutes, and don’t expect it to happen on the first attempt. Let her know that this is an exploration, and that there are no expectations.
Stimulate the G-Spot in As Many Ways as You Can and Get Regular Feedback on What Works Best
The woman should lie down on her back in a comfortable bed. Foreplay is a precondition. Erotic kissing, touching, massage, sex, direct clitoral stimulation, all contribute. You want to concentrate your efforts on the G-spot, which is a small, quarter-sized area an inch to three inches inside the vagina. The Grafenberg “G” spot is an erogenous zone that may be part of the female prostate. Before arousal this is a small nub. When engorged with blood it nears the size of a golf ball, and has the texture of a wet raspberry or an orange. It is a system of glands and ducts and is linked to the urethral sponge. The urethral sponge is composed of erectile tissue that, as it becomes swollen with blood, compresses the urethra, helping to prevent urination during sexual activity.
The G-spot is on the anterior, ventral wall. Not the wall towards her spine, the wall towards her belly button. The G-spot is rough, and raised, more so than any area in the vagina. It is hard to miss if you are attentive, but can be more prominent in some women than others. It has many nerve endings, is very sensitive, and thus she should be able to guide your search. You will need to use copious amounts of lubrication, especially at first. Astroglide is probably better than KY Fluid because it is smoother and doesn’t dull the fine tactile sensations. You will need to find a comfortable position from which to stimulate her. Plan to alternate between lying on your stomach and kneeling.
Insert one or two fingers into the vagina so that the finger pads (the sides without finger nails) make contact with the G-spot. It is usually one to two inches inside the opening. Use the middle and ring fingers. The common knowledge is that you repeatedly stroke the spot with a “come hither” like motion. You are contracting the fingers and pulling your fingertips over the G-spot. Then straightening the fingers while maintaining contact. You want to perform this motion over and over again. Prepare to do this at least one hundred times, probably much more. The important thing is to vary the speed and pressure while getting feedback from her. Open communication is paramount. When she says: “right there,” just keep repeating whatever she likes.
You should feel small ridges and nodules that become engorged when she is highly aroused. You want to concentrate your strokes on these rough patches. Do so with everything from very light to very deep pressure.
You might want to start with extremely light touch. For some women this is the key. It seems to help them focus on intense but easily overshadowed sensations. She may tell you: “more lightly, more lightly, softer, softer, slower, slower…” To achieve small strokes, instead of curling your fingers, try simply moving your wrist or arm. Think small, tight, movements with adequate pressure. Vary the amount of pressure, and try to read her body language to see what she likes.
You will also want to try deep pressure. Pressing your fingers up toward her pubic bone will help to put pressure on Skene’s gland, and will create a fervid yearning to release its contents. Pull up several times at different tempos. Try pressing firmly along the length of the anterior wall of the vagina and see what feedback you get. Another technique is to tense the muscles throughout your fingers, hand, wrist, and arm, and shake the whole arm vigorously. Of course, work up to vigor, with her acceptance, and permission.
You can place your thumb on her clitoris as you do this. You might even try reaching for, and stimulating the cervix temporarily (one to three inches deeper). This is the deepest structure, and you should be able to just reach it. This may help to orient you, and she may or may not like it.
The bread and butter though is to persistently stroke the G-spot with medium pressure and sensual movement. You can use right to left, front to back, in to out, and even circular motions. You can try one finger. You can try stroking the bottom, posterior half of the vagina by turning the hand 180°. You can also stimulate her G-spot when she is on her knees. You want to experiment with kissing her, stimulating her nipples, and licking or sucking her clitoris. Any of these combined with G-spot stimulation may be enough to push her over the top. Think determination, and persistence, but remain relaxed and easy going. You will also have to reassure her that you are not getting bored or tired. If she is concerned that you are bored, it won’t happen. If she can sense that you are enjoying yourself, she will too.
It may not happen, and either of you may decide to stop. Tell her that it was worth a try, and that you would like to try again some time. A few minutes after stopping, (even after standing up and walking around) she may feel something shift and may want to try again right away. This is common. However, even if no squirting occurs remember that stimulating the G spot increases pleasure in general, heightens arousal, and makes orgasm more likely.
She Should Bear Down on A Certain Set of Muscles
Squirting is much more likely if she bears down on a certain set of perineal muscles. Specifically, she should push down on her pubococcygeus muscles. As a man, I cannot tell you what contracting these muscles feels like. I understand that it overlaps quite a bit with the muscles that initiate and speed up the stream of urination. It also involves flexing of the abdomen. The contraction of these muscles is palpable if you have your fingers inside of the woman. Two fingertips placed one to three inches inside, on the upper (anterior) wall, will feel a distinct change in the curvature of the wall. When she bears down you can feel it press against your fingers. It will pay if you coach her to “push it out.” Fully realized, this posture will place the G-spot very close (within an inch) of the opening of the vagina. When this fleshy area is pushed out, she is putting pressure on Skene’s gland and providing the squeeze needed to empty it.
When it Happens
At some point she should tell you that she feels like she has to pee. Ask her to use the toilet. If she has just voided her bladder, then you can assure her that it is not pee. In a low, reassuring voice repeatedly coax her that you want her to squirt, to let it go, to let it out. Women may report that the steamy drive from wanting to squirt is unbearable, and almost uncomfortable. They may report that an area they have never felt before feels “heavy and hot.”
The next phase is that you have small amounts of spurting taking place. She should feel a tingle before it comes, and it will likely start as a leak, or trickle. You should be able to see, and feel warm water escaping from above her vagina. Show her, display some excitement, and cheer her on.
With concerted effort she will release more fluid. Once she starts to squirt, it will wash the lubrication off of your fingers. Reapply it liberally. At a certain point you can hear it. It may come in rythmic gushes with several seconds in between. This may speed up, or even erupt profusely. The involuntary contractions may just keep coming and coming, and you may have to reposition the towel or get another one. Afterwards, she may be reeling. She will feel tired, heavily sated, and you should offer close physical contact, and cuddling.
Many women claim that squirting is more pleasurable than any orgasm. Others say it is not necessarily more pleasurable than a strong orgasm. Others describe it as a release of pent up tension. The next day they may comment that something inside of them feels relieved: empty, but in a satisfying way.
There are actually two forms of female ejaculation. Women can ejaculate water-like fluid from Skene’s gland, or a thick, viscous fluid from Bartholin’s gland. Bartholin’s gland ejects a pearly white form of mucous to add moisture to the labial opening of the vagina. It often appears below the vagina in the form of a marble sized sphere. Presumably this is to make contact with this sensitive area more comfortable. This form of ejaculation is much less common. I am sorry to say that I haven’t been able to uncover any patterns as to how to initiate this form of ejaculation. It seems that it is provoked by intercourse, but perhaps fondling the Bartholin glands just posterior to the vagina can contribute as well.
Why Does Female Ejaculation Exist?
The sheer amount of ejaculatory fluid that women hold within them is surprisingly large. The idea that all women carry cups of water in their body for the sole act of squirting seems strange from an evolutionary standpoint. Especially if most modern women do not ever utilize this, why would it exist? The behavior does not seem to exist in other animals, but it does exist in all groups of humans.
I have spent some time wondering about the biological significance of female ejaculation and concluded that, like many adaptations, it might be protective. Squirting may provide a form of lubrication, especially in the case of multiple-partner sex. Group sex is very common in some species of primates, and was probably also common during human evolution. In the ancestral past, people had copious pubic hair, and it may have acted like a sponge. Perhaps squirting is a way to saturate pubic hair and create a reservoir of additional moisture. This would have reduced friction and reduced the chances of injury coming from dry sex. Sex involving multiple partners, or that otherwise took place over prolonged periods, may have required additional lubrication and those with a genetic predisposition for this were naturally selected.
Why Do It?
There is really nothing to lose from trying. If you try a few times, there is a good chance of learning how to do it. Stimulating the G-spot increases arousal, and contributes to orgasm and the ability to have multiple orgasms. Like other forms of massage it probably also has numerous health benefits. Consistently stimulating the area must increase sex hormones, which in turn may increase sex drive, physical strength and even confidence. It also results in the release of endorphins, and relieves a great deal of tension in the area. In doing so it might lead to a release of tension all over the body. For these reasons and others it could potentially have significant cumulative health affects over time.