Simple Strategies That Helped Me Sleep Better and Feel Calmer

Sleep Hygiene 

 

Here is a list of what I have found to be the most helpful interventions for sleeplessness and insomnia. The first four listed here helped me transition from 5 hours of sleep per night to at least 7 within a week.

 

 

Spend at least 10 minutes in indirect sunlight directly after waking. Early sunlight flips the wakefulness switch and supports a healthy, regular circadian cycle. Direct or indirect sunlight within a few minutes after waking works best, but sunlight anytime during the day is beneficial. The bright light convinces your brain that the day is starting and that now is the time to be alert and energetic. Natural sunlight contains wavelengths you cannot get from indoor light that will increase wakefulness. If you can expose yourself to it early in the day it will help you feel tired by nighttime and sleepy by bedtime.

 

Stop eating four hours before bed. Don’t overeat for dinner. Eating late meals makes restorative sleep difficult because of the way it burdens the digestive system. Also, snacking right up to bedtime keeps the mind in a state of agitation. After telling yourself that you will not eat during the four hours before bedtime, you will find a part of you relax knowing that hunger and compulsive eating are off the table.

 

Set an alarm every morning, including weekends. And don’t hit the snooze button. Waking at the same time every day reinforces a healthy circadian rhythm.

 

Fatigue your neck muscles before sleep. This can greatly help you to crash once you head hits the pillow. This is because, when your neck is tired, your body knows it needs rest. You can achieve this with a simple neck exercise every night before sleep. It only takes one minute. To do it, lie in bed on your back with your head an inch or two off the surface of the bed. Then, touch each ear to the mattress, turning your neck from side to side to do so. Touch the left ear to the mattress, then the right and repeat 30 to 40 times. If you can do this in different ways, from different angles, to target different muscles, all the better. After gently fatiguing your neck muscles you will find that they are able to relax deeply and that the accompanying endorphins and circulation will help make you sleepy.

 

Do not take naps and don’t sleep in. This only confuses your sleep cycle. Also, going to sleep earlier than usual when tired often backfires because it further confuses your sleep cycle.

 

Exercise during the day will help you to wind down at night and sleep much harder. If you fatigue your muscles, heart, and breathing musculature, then they will all crave deep restful sleep. I shoot for an hour of some kind of exercise every day. However, don’t work out too hard in the second half of the day. I try to finish any push-ups and heavy weights by midday. Try to stop exercising two hours before bed. Yoga and stretching, on the other hand, will help you sleep.

 

Turn down the screen brightness on your devices three hours before bed. Bright light from your phone and TV makes your brain think that it is the middle of the day. So, set your phone, tablet, laptop, monitors, and televisions to a lower brightness setting in the late evening. You can also program your cellphone to reduce the amount of blue light it emits two hours before bedtime. You might even dim or turn off the other lights and lamps in your home an hour before bed.

 

No caffeine, THC, or alcohol. Each has been shown to dysregulate sleep, and reduce REM/dream sleep in a dose dependent manner.

 

Reduce exposure to violence, conflict, and excitement. Try to refrain from action movies, horror movies, or videogames two hours before bed. Watching violent or suspenseful content will keep you from getting to sleep, reduce sleep quality, and make it more difficult to stay asleep.

 

Embrace boredom. It’s OK to get bored a few hours before bed, it gets your adrenaline and your dopamine down. So, do something relaxing. It can help to read before bed. You might want to stop using electronics an hour before bed and instead practice stimulus control and relaxation techniques. You could also play piano or other soothing music. 

 

Keep your bedroom cool. It is difficult to sleep well in a hot room. For the best sleep, keep your bedroom around 70 degrees. Undress, use lighter blankets, or use fans as needed. In the winter I use a space heater with a built in thermostat in my bedroom and it keeps the temperature right at 70 all night long.

 

Reduce water intake right before bed. Drink two to three glasses of water three hours before bed and then stop drinking so that you don’t have to wake up to pee as often. Frequent night time urination can disrupt deep sleep.

 

Take a warm bath. Studies have shown that a warm shower or hot bath two hours before bed will help you sleep. I advocate cold showers and cold plunges if taken early in the day, but late at night they will keep you up.

 

Have peaceful interactions. Don’t talk about things that are upsetting or seek out interpersonal conflict before bedtime.

 

Sleep in your bed, don’t rest in it. Only get in your bed when you are ready to sleep. This is because you only want your brain to associate your bed with one thing, deep sleep.

 

Don’t allow people to keep you up late at night. Tell them firmly that you prioritize sleep and that it is time for you to retire.

 

Stay calm while sleep deprived. Whenever you sleep poorly, make sure you stay calm and take it easy the next day. Trauma can be multiplied by sleeplessness, but calm sleepiness can be healing.

Practice paced breathing. I highly recommend using a breath metronome to practice paced breathing before bed. I have a free app on both iPhone and Android called "Program Peace" that can help you breathe longer, deeper breaths. If you do this for a few minutes before bed, you should find that it helps you get to sleep much faster because of the way it deactivates your flight or fight system. To find out more visit programpeace.com 

 

 

Dopamine Detox

 

Here are my rules for controlling dysregulating stimuli in life. This can help with anxiety, depression, insomnia, and other issues.  

 

Overstimulating activities cause unhealthy dopamine swings which can drive compulsive and self-destructive behavior. Potent stimuli of this kind includes extremely palatable food, suspenseful and thrilling television, and sexually provocative media. They all set an unrealistic threshold for dopamine release. The higher the artificial dopamine peak, the more you drop below baseline once you stop using these stimulants. This leads to repeated use, and then abuse, due to tolerance and withdrawal. This is because, after large releases of dopamine, dopamine-producing neurons become depleted, and your brain's default, baseline level of dopamine drops, leaving you feeling lousy and restless. This causes you to engage in the same overstimulating activity that made dopamine surge before, creating a downward spiral. To avoid this cycle, try to follow these rules:

 

 

No Instagram or TikTok 

No movies or shows with violence or horror

No video games 

No fight or injury videos

No sweets 

No MSG 

No overeating

No drugs or alcohol

No overstimulating sexual content

No unnecessary spending

No upsetting or jarring music

 

 

Here are some other strategies to find calm and reduce your reliance on overstimulation:

 

 

Embrace feeling bored. Just accept that you are in a healing state and don’t fight it. After you have mastered this try embracing the state of sleepiness. Embrace boredom and sleepiness and you will become a calmer person. 

 

Just like eating sweet or salty foods, spending money makes you want to spend more money. But when you stop for a few days, the compulsive cravings disappear and you gain peace.

Listen to soft piano music while you work on the computer. It can make your work feel less burdensome and intense.

 

Not scrolling social media or overstimulating myself makes me bored, but it eventually makes me want to read a book, which is the best thing I can be doing. 

 

We should spend a day weekly without any cellphone, app, or streaming use.

 

We should spend 24 hours fasting every week.

 

Do hard things like meditation, weight lifting, hard work, fasting, and cold plunges that deplete, but then replenish dopamine to healthy levels.

 

Years of social conditioning causes us to have a dependency on other people. We seek external validation, and many feel they only get dopamine from interactions with others. You should be comfortable and content by yourself with nothing to do. The energy you put into seeking, maintaining, and recovering from relationships and chaotic social interactions can be put into productive efforts. Albert Einstein said, “The monotony and solitude of a quiet life stimulates the creative mind.” Loneliness increases inflammation and stress but peaceful self-sufficient solitude does not. We should crave time alone. Imagine not needing anyone. What would that feel like? Be able to be powerfully alone. 

 

Non-searching, nondependent, mindful, satisfied solitude is the best way to heal neurotic compulsions.